February 3, 2009

Another Kind Of Hate.

I hate feeling fat.

I hate feeling disgusting.

I hate feeling like the world is against me.

I just want to be thin.

I want the concave body.

I want my flesh stretched over my bones.

I need the squared, pointy shoulders,

the flat hips,

the distinguished collarbone,

the sunken thighs —

I crave it all..

But my life gets in the way.

Shutting myself away,

I’m going insane.

I’ve been on the verge for so long;

Teetering, trembling,

the oncoming tidal wave

propelled by my fears.

It continues to swell and swell,

especially as the ocean continues to look

deeper and deeper.

I’m scared.

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